Fight the Power

Since I’ve resumed my writing in this blog, I’ve been struggling with my blogging identity. You see, I didn’t want the blog to become a “mommy blog.” There’s nothing wrong with being a mommy blogger, some are my favorites (like Momastery, among others). But this blog started out as a healing place, and I didn’t want every entry to be about this newest chapter of my Mommy journey.

Well, wouldn’t you know that every time I even gave thought to this blog’s identity, I was reminded about the title of the blog: “Better Part of Me.” I explain on my “Why ‘Better Part of Me’” page that I am on a constant journey of self-discovery. You see, on that journey, there are sections. The road is not straight and clean, but it has twists and turns. And each section of the road represents a different period in my life.

There was the childhood period, college, then law school. The stories I could tell from that! Then there was the stretch where I was single, working and just enjoying and living life. I got married and moved to another part of my journey, the one of wife and 2nd mother. That’s when this blog started, and I’ve written about that. And now, I’ve started a new section: mommy. It is different than the role of 2nd mother, because it’s full time, not every other weekend and a few weeks in the summer. So it’s okay that the section of my journey I’m presently on is reflected in my writings: it’s the current story of my self-discovery.

Too often we fight against ourselves. We are who God created us to be. When we stop fighting that, we open the door to infinite possibilities. We aren’t colorless (side-eye to you, Raven-Symone), genderless, or without feelings and deep rooted beliefs. We must embrace ourselves, our entire selves, for when we do, we truly find the “Better Part of Me.” So here’s to the journey, mine and yours!


Six Week Reflections

I gave birth to our youngest daughter, who I will refer to on this blog as Itsy, exactly 6 weeks ago, on July 30, 2014. She came two weeks before my due date, induced because of her size (5 lbs, 0.2 oz). There’s a whole story to her birth, but I will save that for another time.

As I was thinking about this week’s blog post (during one of our middle of the night feedings), I had this overwhelming desire to do some sort of list. I’ve never been one to ignore my writing desires, so here are my 10 things I’ve learned in Itsy’s first 6 weeks of life:

10. While you should, in fact, say no to drugs, I said yes to the epidural and, from the moment that nice anesthesiologist administered it, I knew it was the right decision. Suddenly, I felt a cool sensation and all the pain just went away, it was like I was relaxing on the beach on a breezy summer day, only I was in the hospital in the Labor & Delivery rooms experiencing regular contractions. So, kind of like the beach, but not so much.

9. I learned why drugs are bad the next day when I started itching all over like a druggie going through rehab. We had visitors and all i wanted to do was tear off my clothes and roll around on sandpaper or anything that would make that itching stop.

8. The Game Show Network plays the same shows (and repeats episodes) between 2 and 6 am, in case you cared.

7. Lactation consultants manhandle your baby when they show you how to latch on, but they should come with a warning that says “don’t try this at home, or anywhere else for that matter.” You ever try to football hold a 5lb baby while nursing? I thought I was either squeezing her soft spot or she would slip through the opening in the hospital bed and end up on the floor. I will stick to cradle hold, thank you.

6. They send you home with the tiniest creature you’ve ever known, and they figure you know what you’re doing. Either that or they’re laughing as you walk away saying, “Poor kid.” Some days I’m still amazed they let me keep her.

5. Itsy may be little, but she has tons of personality. From the beginning, she made it known she knows what she does and does not want. You ever see a baby a couple days old purse her lips together when she was full? Amazing.

4. Google is simultaneously your friend and your enemy. You find yourself looking up everything about caring for your child, and with every search, you discover you’re doing it wrong, oh but wait, Dr. Sears says you’re doing it right, but, ummm, who is this famous Dr. Sears?

3. The best advice comes from other mothers who have been there, done that. Especially the ones that have done it recently or are currently in the same boat as you.

2. In spite of my pre-baby 8 solid hours of sleep requirement, I can, in fact, function off of anywhere from 3 to 7 hours of sleep. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. Do they allow naps at work?

1. Being a mother is one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Even when Itsy has her “party all night” days/nights, she gives me this smile while looking into my eyes and it all becomes worth it. Until she poops in the tub during bath time. 😉

Any lessons from the trenches you want to share? Share them in the comments below!